Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
