just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
