Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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