what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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