I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
