So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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