Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
