it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
