we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
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We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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