tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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