i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize