why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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