Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
