Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
