It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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