Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...