Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.