Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one