My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down