I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Shame is for Republicans.
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