I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
