my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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