At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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