I just pynch a tree in the face
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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