I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
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When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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