So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
