I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
