you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
