I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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