we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize