I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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