just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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