and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
