dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
