covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
