What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
