that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
