im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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