woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
