Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
