OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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