I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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