i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
