my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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