come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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