just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
