I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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