There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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