Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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