Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
