so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
