How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
