You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
