Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
