I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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