Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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