Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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