I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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