His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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