It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
