How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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