did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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