Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
PANTIES FOUND
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