i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
