obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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