he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
