kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
