im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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